As I trudge through the snow to the Retroman offices this Christmas, weaving my way through groups of Victorian street urchins, I'll have a particular tune stuck in my mind. It will echo around my head as I struggle to type wearing gloves, and I'll be whistling it when I'm plucking up the courage to knock on the Editor's door to ask if his team of hard working writers might possibly be allowed to finish early on Christmas Eve. He'll say no of course, but who knows, maybe a nocturnal visit from the spectral forms of Roy Wood, Noddy Holder and Mariah Carey will change his mind. Yes folks, this year's Christmas ear-worm is "(I'm Going To My) Happy Place (For Christmas)" by The Mild Perils, a new project from front-woman of The Priscillas, Jenny Drag. It's a song that ticks all the boxes for a Christmas hit; catchy chorus, bells, festive video, more bells and even that 'footsteps crunching on snow' effect that you used to get, but this packs the additional punch of a bit of Yuletide realism; in short, it's a Christmas song for people who don't much like Christmas. This is the stuff that Christmas is made of but nobody normally sings about, with a full supporting cast of passive aggressive relatives and drunk guests, and a hoot of a video with Jenny resplendent in a backless catsuit and some tinsel. "(IGTM ) HP (FC)", as it shall henceforth be referred to, has exactly the right mix of wry humour and slightly festive chirpyness to bump it onto the list of Christmas songs I actually like, and I'll definitely be keeping an ear out for future offerings from The Mild Perils. So if, like me, you're not really too keen on the whole Christmas thing, tune out, tune in and go to your happy place. - Amy K-B Xmas 2017
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